One Year Later.
Last year, this week – I decided to buy the domain name for this blog & take a dive into writing, blogging, and sharing my story. It felt like a big risk at the time, but I had some great cheerleaders who told me that I needed to do this – and who made me feel brave in the midst of uncertainty.
I have not written as much as I would have liked. I have, however, written so many posts that have gone unposted. Oh friends, if you knew the amount of blogs that are written and archived on my computer, you would maybe nominate me for an episode of “Hoarders”.
In the last year, I have learned some things.
I have learned that love is not the only thing that can break your heart. Friendship can break your heart. Loss can break your heart. Grief can break your heart. Fear can break your heart.
But I have also learned that brokenness doesn’t make me broken, it makes me human.
I have yet to meet someone who has not experienced heartbreak. And in learning more how to be vulnerable with the people I trust – I have experienced the beauty of being understood, and the beauty of not being alone.
I am forever grateful for the people who have walked by me this year. The ones who have let me process through things out loud.
The last year has been full of adventure. It has been full of good things. But in the midst of good things, I think we all know that sometimes the good and the hard happen at the same time.
So I’m not going to make any promises to the internet this year. I’m not going to tell you that I will be consistent in writing every day. I’m not going to tell you that I am going to be the best blogger ever.
But I’m going to make myself a few promises. Maybe you need to make these promises to yourself this year, also?
Dear Self,
I promise to give you grace for your imperfections & not demand you be perfect.
I promise to give you time to process & not demand you figure everything out immediately.
I promise to invite people into the brokenness and see more how vulnerability is healing.
I promise to be patient and kind, TO YOU as well as to others.
Love, Me
Isn’t it so crazy how we are so much more gracious to others? At least I know I am. With myself, I am more demanding, less patient, less gracious. I sometimes get frustrated when I don’t have everything figured out and when I find myself learning the same lesson one more time.
But this year, this year I want to change that.
This is my May 1 resolution. To be as kind to me as I am to you.
To be brave enough to share my journey. Because writing is something that makes me feel alive. It makes me feel happy. And I’ve never been skydiving, but I imagine that it’s equal parts terrifying and exhilarating.
I know that writing isn’t that dangerous, but being brave with my words feels a little bit like that. Writing things down in black and white text for people to read and re-read feels both terrifying and exhilarating.
I just re-read the first blog I wrote after I bought this website and I am going to end this one with the same words. Because they ring even more true today than they did on the day I first typed them.
“Welcome friends. To my little corner of the internet.
I’m going to be honest with you. I’m going to be real with you. I’m going to tell you over and over again, that even though life may be hard – it is still good. And I’m going to link arms with you as we travel together. We are so much stronger together than we are apart.
So Nice to Meet You,
Kels “
