Brokenness

The last few months have been in one word :

Bittersweet. 

We have had some absolutely wonderful moments and memories. We have learned even more what it means to be vulnerable, to be unguarded, and our marriage has grown immensely. We have also experienced pain, and loss, and heartbreak. We have watched as some of our best friends have lost loved ones, we have lost family members, and we have felt the sting of rejection.

I have tried to figure it out.

And I think that what I have learned, is that some things are never going to make sense in the moment. Or maybe ever. Some things happen, and there is no explaining – there is no reason – there is no rhyme.

The middle is the hardest for me.

The middle of doubt. The middle of fear. The middle of rejection. I want to figure it out. I want my ducks to be in a row. I want to have the reasons, and the solutions. But the middle is always where I learn the most. Where I allow my heart to feel the things that I so often avoid.

We all do that, don’t we? We run from pain, and from change, and from vulnerability, and from brokenness.

This year, I have learned more than ever what it means to be 100% vulnerable. To speak out loud the things that I am feeling and thinking. To not wait until I have perfect sentences or explanations. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes my words get mixed up.

You know what I have grown to love in this season?

Brokenness. 

I love brokenness.

And I think even the word “BROKENNESS” is something that we run from. But when I say ‘Brokenness’ I don’t mean that our lives are falling apart. I don’t even mean that we are struggling in our marriages, families, friendships, jobs, etc. I just mean that I love when people admit that life is beautiful, but that we are also imperfect.

Brokenness doesn’t mean to me that our lives are falling apart. Brokenness means we are honest. Because everyone, every single one of us has areas that are imperfect. I am 100% okay with being imperfect. Because the hardest thing I have ever done was trying to have it all together. I don’t. And I’m guessing you don’t either.

I love when people are so real. I love that we get to walk with each other in the midst of the hardest times, and be there. Not with solutions. Not with answers. But with our presence. Because the cure for brokenness is togetherness. Being together. Being WITH each other. In the hard moments. In the moments of pain, of confusion, of fear. In the moments when life is changing and we don’t know what’s next.

When we are confronted with our imperfections and are tempted to be embarrassed – we forget that all of us are imperfect.

I am so grateful for the people who draw close in the hardest times.

Isolation is where we want to run when we are feeling broken. We want to take all of our broken pieces into a corner all by ourselves and try and glue them back together.

But friends, your brokenness – your REAL REAL thoughts, your imperfections, your honesty. Those can be the most beautiful parts of you if you choose to open them up to people who love you, people who will speak life into those areas, and people who will walk with you in the midst of the pain.

I’m here to tell you. The depth of relationship that comes from honesty is one of the most beautiful gifts life can give. I love when people are unafraid to be imperfect, because it allows me to trust them with my imperfections also.

Trust is something that is built. And nothing helps build trust more than honesty, more than togetherness, and more than running right towards each others imperfections and with big hugs telling each other, “Don’t worry, I’m not perfect either.”